I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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