I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
