I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
