How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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