Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
