he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
a search helicopter?!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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