I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
