if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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