If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
