she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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