I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
