just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
