My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
