watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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