I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
