I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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