okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
