I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Blood and glitter go together right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
