We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
