I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
