my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
