I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
