Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
