I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
