hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
