I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize