If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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