PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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