You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
