This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize