its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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