Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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