I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
