I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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