ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
