READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
