Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do herpes really smell.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize