My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
