Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
