The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
