Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ok first of all what the fuck
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
