btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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