i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
