Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
