is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
