He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have fence marks all over my body
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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