There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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