I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
