I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
