i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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