He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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