I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
