She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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