when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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