he told me I talked like a deaf person
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
