i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
