Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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