how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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