Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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