i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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