She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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