This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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