I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
