2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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