ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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