That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
