That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
