Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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