Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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