belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
