she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
